reply to the last relationship test.
I'm really appalled that we had to resort to this "last relationship test".
Firstly, I would like to clarify that YES, I do visit your blog. Not everyday, but at least the last time was on 5th Oct, before my last entry. Your last entry (as dated 26 Sept) was not there. So apparently, your last entry was published after 5th Oct, and not on 26 Sept, so do not accuse me of not reading your blog.
Here's everything you might wish to know:
Yes I take very long to reply your smses, but I can assure you it's not just yours. Sometimes I'm really tired to the point when I can forget to bring my phone out or I'll just leave it in my bag the whole day. I admit that sometimes I see your good morning messages and never reply, but it was never intentional. At times it was due to my laziness, at times those messages just seem like a monotonous routine everyday, I thought you'd be able to "guess" my replies. I thought you understood me well enough to know that I didn't like to sms, thus no replies from me, but I was wrong. I believe all has been said in the smses I sent you yesterday.
Nevertheless, I do still admit that it's my fault for not replying your smses. Yes, despite my busy and tired schedule, you're amazed that I still manage to find time for online shopping. But what you failed to find out is that I'm almost always online after school as I know you're sometimes able to msn during work and you'd be online too after work. I thought we could communicate via msn, so I thought I could just do without the sms.
'Since I was lazy to sms, why won't I call?' you asked. I tried calling a few times, but each time, either you were busy or you sounded really tired, so it was natural that I stopped. I remember calling you sometime ago, crying. In the past, you would have no problem "detecting" that I was crying, but that night, you just didn't realize. When I told you about my problems, all I received was your deadbeat tone, so I figured I shouldn't continue to bother you.
Msn didn't seem to be appropriate for us as well, your replies were often slow; I didn't really had the chance to find out what you were doing. So blogging was used as my last resort, hoping you'd be able to see what i've typed.
Regarding your birthday, I'm really sorry. It's my fault for not being able to be the first to wish you. I was really glad when you told me your buddies asked you out because I know there was no way I can finish my project on time to pass you the cake personally. Then the week was really tough, I had to juggle 2 project deadlines. I admitted I had forgotten about the KTV thing, and when Dione asked me to join her at Momo, I merely took it as an offer to unwind myself. Moreover, I asked you along, I didn't think of leaving you behind at all. I know it's my fault for letting the important KTV session slip my mind, but it's really due to the stress that I faced then. If you had gently reminded me about the KTV session, I would have forgone the Momo invite without hesitation and went to KTV with you. Whatever it is, I can understand how disappointed you felt and I'm really sorry.
The next few days I was confirmed by Erdinger. I specially requested to Angeline that I want to keep the Saturday for you, because this time round I really wanted to make it up to you and bring you to the KTV session as promised. But on Friday night after work, you told me you had to work on Sat and you were going to a friend's chalet after that. I don't know if you can imagine but I was really disappointed. My plans failed again. That few days I could really sense your absence, I didn't receive the usual messages, didn't receive your offers to pick me up after work like what you used to do. I thought you were busy, so I didn't want to disturb you, even when I wish you were with me when I met a terrible customer. I was always on the lookout for you, hoping to see you smiling at me at a corner waiting for me to end work. I wasn't angry at all, I know you had your reasons for not doing the same.
I don't think posting all these would make any difference anyway.
I apologize for not being able to live up to your expectations and any form of hurt i've caused unintensionally during the quarrel. It's really difficult to maintain a relationship when a couple cannot even compromise on the form of communication used. Funny but true.
Lastly, you may feel that I don't seem to show care and concern as much as you want me to, but I do, just that it might not be obvious because I prefer to keep them to myself. That's me. :) nicole @
name: nicole aka liyan
d.o.b: 10 12 85
about: shopaholic, makeupaddict, glutton, ktv enthusiast, sleepyhead
email: nikkomoo@msn.com
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